


Checkout Pickup

by mickeysbubblebutt (brazenlyunabashedlyshamelessly)



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: AU, Bad Pick Up Lines, M/M, i had fun with this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 01:58:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4460963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brazenlyunabashedlyshamelessly/pseuds/mickeysbubblebutt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the prompt: You go to my checkout every time you shop here and you always flirt with me with these really embarrassing lines and there’s like five people behind you waiting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Checkout Pickup

Mickey Milkovich hated his job. There were days where he tried to convince himself that things weren’t that bad. At least he had a job, right? Better than doing something that’d land him in prison, he would remind himself.

_Anything that would make this cashier gig seem bearable._

Staring blankly ahead of him, Mickey rang up the groceries for the soccer mom in front of him. She had this harassed look on her face, and he couldn’t really blame her. He’d be pissy too, if he had to deal with two loud mouthed brats. 

“Mommy, I want candy,” the little boy whined.

“Not now, sweetheart,” Soccer Mom said, her tone strained. “We need to have dinner first, you know that.”

“But  _mom_ ,” the other kid chipped in.

_God, as much as bein’ gay could be a pain in the ass, least he knew he wouldn’t have to deal with this kinda bullshit._

Once the woman and the little candy fetishests left the store, Mickey had a couple minutes of free time. Snatching up the magazine closest to him– _US Weekly_ –he’d just started on some article about the Kardashians, when he heard a deep voice speaking from a few feet away.

“Is there a magnet in your pants?”

Mickey froze.  _Did he just…?_

Looking up, he saw a tall redhead smirking at him. Unable to help himself, Mickey spared a moment to give the guy a quick onceover. Long legs, slim waist, and broad shoulders.

_And he’d just used one of the worst pickup lines Mickey had ever heard._

“Seriously?”

The guy’s grin widened.

“Got you to look up,” he pointed out.

“You gonna buy somethin’?” Mickey asked after a moment.

Silently, the redhead placed his items on the counter for Mickey to ring up. Gatorade, Doritos, and… a box of Magnums.

Mickey’s eyebrows shot up in spite of himself.

“Problem?” the guy asked.

_Jesus, could this guy get any cockier?_

_Okay, poor word choice._

“No,” he answered quickly. He rang everything up. It was tempting to say try messing with the guy, but instead Mickey settled on, “Have a nice day.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few days later, the store was busy. Sunday morning, and people were doing their grocery shopping. Mickey kind of preferred this to the slow days. Meant less time for him to think about what he was doing.

“You’ve got swears on your hand,” a little voice told him.

Mickey glanced up from where he was ringing up a box of Fruitloops to meet a pair of wide brown eyes. The little boy’s stare dipped to down to the  **FUCK U-UP**  tattoos on Mickey’s knuckles.

“Yeah, for a while now,” Mickey replied.

“How come?” the kid asked.

“Liam, not now. We got, like, ten people behind us,” the young woman buying the groceries chided. “Sorry ‘bout that,” she added to Mickey. “Can we keep goin’ here?”

“Sure, whatever.”

“Glad I caught you guys,” a familiar voice came from the front of the counter. “Man, I didn’t think I was gonna make it.”

“Oh, God, Ian, are you seriously eating that in here?” the dark haired woman complained.

Flicking his gaze up, Mickey froze as he found himself looking at the redhead who’d thrown out that stupid pickup line the other day. The smug asshole was standing in front of him, wearing that same smirk, eating from a can of Pringles.

“It’s no big, Fiona,” the guy,  _Ian_ , replied. “We can just ring it up here, right?”

He snatched the can out of the redhead’s hands to ring it up, when there was an exaggerated gagging sound.

“Oh, God…” Ian gasped out. “I’m choking. Think I need… mouth to mouth.”

Mickey let out a pained groan while the guy’s sister gave them both a strange look. Shaking his head, Mickey fought a grin. He forced himself to keep a serious expression as he rang up the rest groceries piled up on the counter.

_There was no way Mickey was being charmed by this moron with his stupid ass pickup lines._

“You okay?” Fiona asked after a moment. The uncertainty in her voice told Mickey that the guy didn’t often act like this.

_That should not be making him more attractive._

“Fine,” Ian said innocently, completely fine all of a sudden.

As Mickey finished ringing the stuff up, and bagged everything, Fiona, Ian, and Liam gathered the groceries up in their arms. But before Mickey could give them the required ‘Have a nice day,’ the redhead leaned over to talk to him.

“Hey, you free for coffee sometime?” he whispered.

Disbelief coursed through Mickey as he stared at the guy. He seemed completely serious, which kind of supported Mickey’s new theory that Ian was a crazy person. Glancing over his shoulder at the line of impatient customers waiting for him to hurry the fuck up, Mickey met Ian’s expectant stare.

“No,” he replied, although he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t curious about this guy. “Now get outta here.”

“Okay.”

And with that, Ian left, apparently unphased by the rejection.

Mickey spent the rest of the morning wrestling with the unwelcome disappointment that the hot guy with the weird pickup lines had given up so easily.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been over a week since the wacky redhead had shown up at the store. Friday night saw Mickey sitting at his counter, bored out of his skull. So far, there’d only been a couple stoners with the munchies, and an old lady with cat food.

He was counting down the time until his shift was over. Fifteen minutes, and he was out of here.

“You have gotta be exhausted, ‘cause you’ve been running through my mind all day.”

“Jesus, where the hell do you get this shit?” Mickey muttered.

Looking up, Mickey saw Ian sauntering up to him. He had to admit, the guy looked good.

“The internet,” Ian replied, unashamedly.

“An’ that’s how you pick up strangers?” he asked. “The face alone doesn’t do it?”

He probably shouldn’t have said that. The guy’s grin widened in surprise at Mickey’s comment.

“You like my face?”

“Didn’t say that,” Mickey huffed. He could feel a flush crawling across his cheeks.

Ian laughed at his discomfort.

_It was a nice sound_ , Mickey admitted to himself.

Shaking off the attraction he couldn’t help feeling for this jackass, Mickey forced himself to make his voice stern.

“This a social call, or you come here to buy somethin’?”

“Was kinda hopin’ you might’ve changed your mind 'bout grabbin’ a coffee.”

“Relentless fucker, aren’t you?”

Mickey experienced a moment of confusion, though. He wasn’t blind; Mickey knew he wasn’t terrible looking. It wasn’t any hardship picking up guys, but that was usually because both parties involved were looking to scratch an itch.

But this? Coming onto the teller at your local grocery store?

_Who the hell did that?_

“C'mon, don’t make me beg,” Ian cajoled him. “You really want me to come up with an even worse pickup line for the next time I come in here, do you?”

Mickey liked that it sounded like Ian planned on coming back.

“Fine,” he relented. “My shift ends in a couple minutes. I’ll meet you outside.”

“Sweet.” Ian’s open smile caused a weird fluttery feeling in Mickey’s stomach. “You’re not gonna ditch me, right?” He looked suddenly concerned.

The thought hadn’t even occurred to Mickey. Not that he was going to let Ian know that. Guy was cocky enough as it was already.

“I dunno. You don’t like puns, do you?”

“I don’t punish guys until the second date,” Ian told him solemnly.

“Second date?” Mickey asked in surprise. “Wouldn’t we need to go on a first?”

Ian gave him an amused look.

“What d’you think we’re doin’?”

“Oh.” Mickey took a minute to process. “Wait,  _punish_?”

“I’ll wait for you in the front,” Ian told him. Laughing at the expression on Mickey’s face, the redhead sauntered out of the store.

“Date,” Mickey grumbled to himself once Ian had disappeared. Casting a surreptitious glance around, he swiped a packet of gum, and shoved it in his back pocket.

 


End file.
